Posts by Timothy J. Rush

Review: The Abominable Dr. Phibes (1971)

Abominable Dr. Phibes poster
Submitted by Timothy J. Rush on Sun, 2008-05-18 00:04

"Nine killed her; nine shall die! Eight have died, soon to be nine. Nine eternities in doom!" If that sort of beautifully over-the-top line doesn't bring warmth to your heart, you might as well turn back now. You will not enjoy The Abominable Dr. Phibes, a brilliant piece of moody, camp horror from 1971. You will not bask in the glory of Phibes's twisted wonderland of murder and revenge. However, if you can feel the cockles of your heart stirring with anticipation, you are in for a beautiful treat.(read more...)

Review: Wrestlemaniac (2006)

Wrestlemaniac poster
Submitted by Timothy J. Rush on Wed, 2008-03-26 13:45

Only watch Wrestlemaniac if someone pays you to do it. I can't state strongly enough that this is movie is more than just a waste of your time. It's a waste of the resources used to press and distribute the DVDs. A collector's edition of Howard the Duck would have been a better idea than producing this piece of crap. It is, simply, complete s**t.

The plot is simple. A van full of amateur porn filmmakers gets stranded in a deserted Mexican town, where a psychotic Mexican wrestler, El Mascarado, systematically hunts and kills them. It's not the most innovative story, and one that doesn't necessarily suck, either. On paper, it looks like it could be schlocky fun.(read more...)

Review: The Brood (1979)

The Brood poster
Submitted by Timothy J. Rush on Wed, 2008-03-19 09:08

David Cronenberg’s 1979 effort The Brood would provide only a single scene for a highlight reel of his entire body of work. You want to like it, to call it a precious gem in Cronenberg's progression of films. You want to be scared, to be disgusted. You want everything you have come to expect from a Cronenberg movie. You end up with disappointment. It's obviously a stepping stone, a film that needed to happen before his much better films could come to be. But that doesn't excuse its faults, and it certainly doesn't give your average viewer a reason to watch The Brood when later, greater Cronenberg films like Videodrome or eXistenZ are readily available.(read more...)

Review: Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy (1955)

Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy
Submitted by Timothy J. Rush on Tue, 2008-02-05 01:23

You don't get films like Bud Abbott and Lou Costello's horror classics nowadays. There's no Tenacious D Versus The Living Dead or Stiller and Wilson Meet Jason Voorhees. The closest we come to comedy troupe is Broken Lizard's Club Dread, and that is a far cry from Abbott and Costello Meet the Invisible Man. However, the sad truth is that Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy is even less like a great Abbott and Costello horror comedy than Club Dread.(read more...)

Review: Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007)

Sweeney Todd poster
Submitted by Timothy J. Rush on Wed, 2008-01-16 01:48

While there may be no tale of more woe than that of Juliet and her Romeo, there is no love story more grisly, ghastly and gorgeous than that of Benjamin Barker and his Lucy. Tim Burton, after a detour through tales of children's adventures in candy-coated worlds and planets of primates, makes a beautiful return to the lands of the gothic live action film with Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. His return is loud, bombastic, strewn with bodies, soaked in blood, and heralded in song. It is movie magic at its finest.(read more...)

Review: Santa's Slay (2005)

Santa's Slay poster
Submitted by Timothy J. Rush on Sat, 2007-12-22 01:59

I wish I could tell you that Santa's Slay, a movie starring a massively muscular Jewish professional wrestler as a murderous Santa Claus, was so spectacularly bad that it was a laugh riot. I wish I could tell you that Santa's Slay was surprisingly good, an undiscovered gem of modern slasher horror. Sadly, both of these ends of the spectrum are wrong. Santa's Slay is merely a disappointment, a cheap horror comedy that wishes it was funnier.

The setup screams with potential. Potential that is ultimately unfulfilled. Santa, as this film claims, is the immaculate son of Satan, going out every Christmas on a great slaying spree. That is, until Santa lost a curling game to an angel and had to behave for one thousand years. Now, those thousand years are up, and Santa's making up for lost time with his fresh batch of Christmas carnage.
 (read more...)

Review: Idle Hands (1999)

Idle Hands poster
Submitted by Timothy J. Rush on Fri, 2007-12-14 01:10

It's like a cruel, twisted Reese's commercial. "You got your stoner comedy in my monster horror!" "You got your monster horror in my stoner comedy!" While these two concepts aren't totally incompatible, the 1999 film Idle Hands doesn't gel them into something as easily consumed by the public as chocolate peanut butter cups.
 (read more...)

Review: Death Proof (2007)

Grindhouse: Death Proof poster
Submitted by Timothy J. Rush on Tue, 2007-12-04 01:01

Originally released as one half of the cinematic double-feature experience Grindhouse, Death Proof stands alone both in the European theatrical release and now on commercial DVD. This version, with the 'missing reel' and extra footage added, is a full 24 minutes longer than the version featured originally. It is now a fleshed out, fully independent film that gains a lot from its separation, yet suffers as well.
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Review: Hellraiser (1987)

Hellraiser poster
Submitted by Timothy J. Rush on Sun, 2007-10-28 01:01

There are certain expectations when dealing with a film titled 'Hellraiser'. For example, one would expect that hell will be involved, and, further, that someone or something will be raising that hell. In this respect, Clive Barker's horror legacy does not disappoint. However, now that Hellraiser has permeated popular culture, we have higher expectations to be met. We expect the makings of a classic, the iconic Pinhead instilling exquisite terror. In short, we expect a nightmare on celluloid. The film does not disappoint. It is a masterfully executed production, with a chilling story, great performances, and amazing special effects.(read more...)

Review: The Black Cat (1981)

Black Cat 1981 poster
Submitted by Timothy J. Rush on Fri, 2007-10-19 01:05

Lucio Fulci's The Black Cat admits in its opening credits that it is “freely” adapted from the Edgar Allan Poe short story of the same name. Indeed, the film bears only a passing resemblance to Poe's story. Instead Fulci crafts his own tale and forges a movie that succeeds in mood and direction, but fails when the plot descends into incomprehensibility. But just as one doesn't stop eating apples because they end up as horrible apple cores, The Black Cat’s great beginning is worth the lousy finish.(read more...)

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