There have been Friday the 13th films that have been dreadful. There have been Friday the 13th films that have been unwatchable (yes, A New Beginning, I’m talking about you). But Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood is the first one that’s been utterly dull.

The production values are solid, the acting is uneven but negligible and the script at least tries to inject some new ideas into the series. So what’s so wrong with the movie? Simply put, it isn’t any fun.
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Just when it seemed the Friday the 13th movies would continue on a downward trajectory until they became so bad even indiscriminate teens refused to see them, along comes the first installment since the original that isn't a complete waste of time.

Picking up where Part 3 left off (with Jason's dead body lying in a barn and another dozen teens hacked to pieces), young Corey Feldman and his family (a mother, a sister and a dog) have picked the wrong day to move to a cabin on Camp Crystal Lake.

Of course it wouldn't be much of a slasher movie if the killer spent the entire flick chasing two kids, an old lady and a dog, so for the sake of the body count the cabin next door is occupied for the weekend by the cast of Porky's.
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"It takes all kinds of critters to make Farmer Vincent Fritters!" Farmer Vincent (Rory Calhoun, Hell Comes to Frogtown) and his sister Ida (Nancy Parsons, the Porky's series) have had the best meat in their little rough country town for nearly thirty years now. They have an extra special ingredient that comes from their secret garden behind the motel. After a deadly accident, Terry (Nina Axelrod, Critters 3) wakes up at their motel to learn that her biker boyfriend has died and was buried by Farmer Vincent in the wee hours that morning. It seems the town has a rule where dead folk can be buried without any questions necessary. After she stays a bit and takes a liking to the peculiar farmers, Vincent and Ida decide they want to slowly teach her the ancient art of meat smoking!(read more...)

I’m somewhat pleased that Nate asked me to do this review because I got to watch this film. I‘ve had it on DVD for a couple years now and I haven‘t had the opportunity to view it. I have just finished viewing it and found that it’s quite a fun little flick.(read more...)